Christopher Deedy defended his decision to use deadly force during his second day on the witness stand.
While the deputy prosecutor attacked the special agent's assessment which called Kollin Elderts' death a shoot-or-die situation.
Day 19 of the Deedy murder trial was filled with some emotional testimony from the special agent.
"Have you seen this video before?" asked deputy prosecutor Janice Futa about the McDonald's surveillance video taken on the night Elderts was killed.
"I've seen this video hundreds of times. I see it when I close my eyes and try to go to sleep. I never stop seeing this," said Deedy.
Deedy claimed he had no other choice but to pull out his gun during an escalating confrontation at McDonald's in November 2011.
He testified even though he wasn't being attacked, his friend was -- by Elderts and Shane Mederios.
"I did not have any other level of force to stop them from the deadly force they were using against Adam and could use against me," said Deedy.
After pulling out his gun and firing a shot, Deedy said Elderts then knocked him down and began raining blows. Deedy claims not to have felt the punches.
"I could hardly feel them. I was so focused on staying alive, trying to control my gun and not die," stated Deedy.
Under cross examination, Deputy Prosecutor Janice Futa questioned why the incident escalated in the first place.
"He said 'I'll [expletive] you up.' Was that a federal crime? A misdemeanor?" asked Futa.
"No," Deedy replied to both questions.
If no crime was being committed, Futa repeatedly asked why Deedy didn't leave as Elderts got more upset at him?
"You could have done many things but leaving was an option. An option you didn't take," said Futa.
Futa said special agent policy requires them to use alternatives to deadly force if possible.
She also reminded Deedy about the state department's policy of being armed while drinking.
"While armed Department of State agents are prohibited from consuming alcohol beverages," said Futa.
"That is correct," replied Deedy.
Deedy admitted to having several drinks that night, but refused an intoxilyzer test after the shooting. He said it was because no one in his agency told him to take the test.
He also admitted he may have told a nurse at Queens he had not been drinking and in fact didn't drink, which both were not true.
His murder trial continues on Thursday.