HONOLULU -- Michael Anthony James Jr. has a long history of mental illness, according to his sister.

She said the tragedy should be a wake-up call for everyone.

Wanda James, Michael James' sister, said her brother was a loving husband and father who struggled for years with bipolar disorder. He also gambled and had financial problems and chronic physical pain, which she believes finally became too much to handle.

"He indicated that he heard voices that told him to hurt himself," James said.

She said she did not realize the depth of her brother's mental problem until she learned that police said he had killed himself and his wife, Grineline, who was called Elaine, and their 7-year-old son Michael in their Mililani home.

"And it just got so bad I guess he could not take it anymore," Wanda James said.

Michael James came from a stable family with seven children from Mobile, Ala., she said.

The Army brought him to Hawaii, where he was married twice. The second time he married Elaine. Michael James III was his only child.

Wanda James said he suffered chronic back pain from an injury in the service and she traced his bipolar disorder to a childhood head injury.

On his MySpace page, Michael James described himself as a high-stakes gambler and offered diet supplements for sale.

His sister said Michael seemed fine Saturday when he called briefly to check on her and their sister. He made no mention of trouble even though a bank lawsuit filed just two weeks ago indicated some severe financial problems.

Hickam Federal Credit Union demanded more than $10,000 in the lawsuit, saying he wrote bad checks from his insurance salesman's business account at Central Pacific Bank to cover the falling balance in his checking account.

James' sister said he never talked about his finances and did not talk much about his illness. She said perhaps that is the lesson in the tragedy.

"Don't cover it over, don't not discuss. Discuss -- get that family member some help. So maybe they won't have to go through what Elaine's family has gone through and what my family has gone through," James said.

People who knew Michael James said he never showed any sign of mental illness, that he was outgoing, friendly and helpful. They also said his wife never mentioned any sort of problem.

On top of all the sadness, there is another mystery for friends of the James family.

Elaine James asked for emergency leave from Farrington High School where she worked to attend the funeral of her husband's brother on the mainland. However, Michael James' sister said there has been no recent death in the family and no trip was mentioned.

"It just deepens the mystery of what was going on. We certainly have more questions than answers in all of this. I believe she thought that there was a death," Farrington High School Principal Catherine Payne said.

Police, who may have some of those answers from notes Michael James left at the home, did not return calls requesting more information.