Recently, I was charged with planning a picnic menu for a group of very important guests. These were the sort of folk you want to impress ... without making it look like you're out to do so.

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I knew the standard sandwiches wouldn't do. Likewise fried chicken and potato salad or any of the usual standbys were out. I needed something unconventional, but tasty and easy to carry/prepare outdoors with a minimum of mess and utensils.

I was also on a budget, so caviar-stuffed king crab legs were sort of off the menu.

I began with a thorough rummaging of the kitchen. The pantry yielded an assortment of salsas from TexMexToGo.com in a wide variety of heat levels and formulations. Salsa and picnic food are a natural combination, so onto the counter they went.

The meat drawer in the fridge was largely bare but for a bag of shredded Mexican cheese. I left it for the time being.

The freezer yielded the bonanza: a turkey! Granted, it was a Thanksgiving refugee, long shoved to the back and all but forgotten under a pile of frozen lunch entrees and individually packed tilapia filets, but I thawed it just to check it out. It was in good shape, and my plan began to take shape.

Using Alton Brown's Good Eats Roast Turkey recipe, I brined and cooked the bird, substituting five cloves of garlic for the brown sugar in the brine recipe to turn the flavor a bit south of the border.

When the turkey was done, I skinned the breast and sliced it into strips, doing the same with the thighs to satisfy my new French pal's craving for dark meat. Into the cooler, packed in zip-top bags, went the meat, the cheese, the salsas and some leaf lettuce I'd washed and torn into strips. Then, I pulled out my secret weapon, and the only thing other than the brine makings I had to actually purchase: flavored tortillas to make turkey wraps for the picnic. I had jalapeno and herb and garlic flavored, but there are several others. There's even a tomato/basil with a nifty red color.

The wraps were a hit, and except for a short rain interlude the picnic went off without a hitch.

Of course, good food is nothing without appropriate drink, and sangria seemed to be the perfect accompaniment.

Sangria-making is a great excuse to clean out all the half-bottles of wine laying about in your fridge. Contrary to popular belief, they do NOT all have to be red. It helps if there's enough red to give it the traditional color, but as long as the taste isn't too repulsive, anything will do. I mixed two sun tea jugs full, with a half-cup of Captain Morgan spiced rum, a cinnamon stick and cut up lemons, limes, oranges and strawberries. It was seriously good stuff.

Speaking Of Red Wine

In my column a few weeks ago on cleaning products, I gave you a list of my preferred/favorite cleaners for a variety of household purposes. After thorough testing, I've got one to add without reservation to the collection: Wine Away is without a doubt the worst enemy red wine has had since foot first stomped grape.

Forget all the cleaners you've seen on infomercials. Forget the home remedies, the white vinegar and salt concoctions and other oddness you've put together to try and get wine stains out of various items, this is THE stuff.

It has no bleach or phosphates, and is safe around kids and pets. It's made from a blend of fruit and vegetable extracts and, I suspect, a healthy portion of really powerful voodoo. I tested several different fabrics, along with four different carpet samples, and the results were impressive. The only stain that wasn't removed completely was one on a shirt that I'd had in the rag bag that had already been washed and dried several times. Even there, it faded the red by at least 70 percent.

I'm not the first to find this stuff. It's been written up by Good Housekeeping and a number of other publications, but my opinion is the one that counts, right?

You won't use a lot, either. Just a moderate spritz will cover most stains, unless you drink like I do, in which case you might want an extra bottle.

If you're interested, you can get it here.

Got a topic you'd like to see covered? A question? Complaint? Just drop me a line. As ever, professions of undying love and large cash grants will be accepted.

Previous Stories:

• June 25, 2004:Let's Talk Tipping
• June 11, 2004: When A Foodie Meets A Foodie
• June 4, 2004: The Great Tool Swap
• May 28, 2004: Exploring Blowtorch Cookery
• May 21, 2004: Clean It Up!
• May 14, 2004: Microwave Madness
• May 7, 2004: Spoil Mom With Mother's Day Breakfast
• April 30, 2004: Leftover Surprise
• April 23, 2004: Springtime Grill Rehab
• April 16, 2004: Go Nuts For Walnuts
• April 9, 2004: A Beautiful Bowl Of Soup