Listen up!

Class is in session.

This week, I take a look at your wrestling wishes for 2006. A few weeks ago, I offered up my suggestions (read that column right here), and dared you in the classroom to write in with your thoughts.

I like to start out with hate mail -- it gets my blood boiling! Take it away, Past Master.

Professor:
First, I like reading your column for results only. The rest is mediocre jibberish to read when all else on the net is read. To add to your list of things that the wrestling shows would do:

No. 1. Not hire you as writer! The wrestling storylines are horrible to mediocre as is. The last thing they need to do is implement some of your horrible ideas.

No. 2. Stop with the stupid adult storylines that DON'T belong in wrestling; e.g. sexual harrassment, Kerwin White (glad that angle went away) and gay wrestling couples. Those were stupid storylines that make anyone want to flip the channel.

No. 3. Stop jobbing out the great talent. Shelton Benjamin is the latest example of this. Maybe there are some "behind the scenes" things we don't know about when he continues to job to the likes of Carlito Cool. -- Past Master

Horrible ideas? Mediocre jibberish? At least I have a name that makes sense. What's a Past Master? Kind of sounds like "Has Been."

Dummy:
The only thing we want in 2006 is for you to stop writing this idiotic column. -- Marc and Gregg.

Guys, start spelling your names correctly. Marc is spelled with a "k" and Gregg only has one "g." While you're at it, cut down on the bong hits.

Professor:
Over the past year you have written (if I can call what you do writing) articles titled "Nostalgia Zone" and "Hall of Famers" which touch at the heart and soul of wrestling -- a bit of old school, with characters from the glory days. Unfortunately, you spend too much of your effort in the present.

Even a blind dog (or is it squirrel) can write an article about what happened at the latest pay-per-view, but searching the depths of your pea-sized brain and reminiscing about the truly great wrestlers of old is in order. In 2006, you should focus on the American Wrestling Association, which to us Midwestern boys, had the best talent pool in the nation. My gut tells me that Kenny "Sodbuster" Jay (with Bobby "the Brain" Heenan as his manager and "Mean" Gene Okerlund calling the match) could have taken the Boogie Man in the squared circle and whooped his butt! Call it the Worm Match! Get it…worms…they are in sod as well as BM's favorite snack? I ought to be a promoter!

If you are really as bright as you say you are, then reliving some of the past and educating a nation of morons (i.e., your readers) on the true stars of wrestling (from the old AWA) should be a required College of Wrestling course that should be taught. -- Kevin and Ryan, the "original" East/West connection.

Excellent idea boys. In a lot of ways, the AWA was the nexus of the wrestling universe once upon a time. Look for it in this spot in a few weeks. But if you ever call my readers "morons" again, make sure you change the locks on your doors.

Professor:
I would like to see a serious push in the tag team division. With so many good wrestlers on the roster, a deep tag pool gives a lot of exposure to mid-level talent that otherwise does not get the airtime they deserve. Also, one of the major promotions needs to develop a strong women's division. Get rid of the eye candy Divas. There is enough good talent to carry a good female division. Finally, WWE's promos are WAY too long. I don't watch the first 25 minutes of the telecast because I know that is going to be someone on the mic giving a long, drawn-out promo. Go back to the old days when the matches told the story and the inverviews were short. -- Randy

I would agree on all three points, especially the Divas. They're getting tiresome, and I'm not just saying that because Mrs. Professor has a rolling pin behind her back.

Professor:
I would like to see Chris Jericho come back and be the General Manager for "Raw." Since he was the one that was fired by Eric Bicshoff (on "Raw"), I think it would be cool if he came back and got to do his job. -- Danielle

Jericho would be good in that role, Danielle, but I think you'll see him on TNA before you see him on WWE's air. He seems to be a little lost, not knowing whether to spend time with his band, "Fozzy," or get back in the ring.

Professor:
What are your opinions of some recent storylines in WWE? I wasn't thrilled with the buildup to the Orton/Undertaker match at Armageddon. I nearly fell asleep watching Randy act scared for what seemed like hours as 'Taker's voice made him stay in the ring. Speaking of Armageddon, what was with the Tim White suicide bit? How long are we going to have to put up with The Boogeyman? Did we really need Vince as a proctologist pulling things out of J.R.'s bum? Or the promise of Live Sex in the ring to celebrate Edge's winning the WWE belt? Is the best that Vince can come up with. What's your opinion? -- DeWitt

This one strays from the "2006 wishes" theme, but DeWitt has some great questions that I want to address.

Orton: He's borderline boring, and can do better. He's a diamond in the rough who should be much sharper by now.

Tim White: Tacky, tacky, tacky. This is where a WWE referee faked a suicide at a pay-per-view. Really bad stuff. I don't approve.

The Boogeyman: I love the B-man. He can do no wrong, in my book. He has presence. Especially that goofy wiggly walk he does. It's really great.

Vince as proctologist: I didn't laugh once. It was dumb.

Edge's "Live Sex" bit: That was dumber. Plus I had to shuffle Prof. Jr. and Prof. Juniorette out of the room when they teased the thing. I hate it when my kids can't watch wrestling with me. You may want to rethink your strategy for capturing younger viewers, Vince.

Hello Professor:
While Vinny Mac thinks he has no competition, TNA is 1000 times better than any WWE brand "product". And to sign Sting, what a grand slam that is in Vince's face! I'm hoping Dusty Rhodes (who now works for McMahon backstage) will be good for WWE. I think he'd be great for the GM of "Raw." -- Chef Dave

Chef Dave, I think Vince is shaking in his boots a bit with TNA coming on strong. As for Dusty as GM of "Raw," I'd take that bet.

Professor:
You are dead on the money. Kurt Angle is the most entertaining part of McMahon's freak show. I want to see more of him, and less of the Boogeyman. I mean, come on, how far can you take a worm-eating sideshow geek act anyway? It was weird one time, but now it's time for some story. I like the guy, but lose the worms! As for, Ric Flair, it's time to put him out to pasture. He was great 20-30 years ago, but now he's a spectacle. Let him work as a writer or something. -- Joe

As I mentioned earlier, I think Boogeyman is great. I don't know why, but he's just cracks me up -- worms and all. How far can he go? All the way to the top, son. They gave the belt to JBL didn't they? He did a fine job with it, too.

Finally, from Ross, who loved my idea of Ric Flair retiring and setting up a new version of the Four Horsemen:

Professor:
Let us be clear, to recreate the Horsemen effectively, you would need to have both Ric Flair and Arn Anderson share the role of manager, of which J.J. Dillon perfected. In the role of the leaders, I would (pick) HHH and Shawn Michaels. While they were both immature in DX, they have grown up. Triple H is just as ruthless as Ric was back in the day and he can work the microphone like I have only seen Flair do. Michaels can be the enforcer in and out of the ring. He has been in the business so long he can use his backstage pull to get what he wants. I can also see Batista in the enforcer role, or possibly Chris Masters. To fill Tully Blanchard's role: Val Venis. What do you think of my picks? --Ross

Val Venis? Not in a million years. There's too many other greats to go around. Here's how I would stack the New Horsemen: Flair as the manager, with a stable of Kurt Angle, Carlito Cool, Edge and JBL. That's five superstars who are great talkers. That's what it's all about.

That'll do it. Thanks again for writing the column for me. Also, I get so much mail that it's impossible to answer every letter, but I really try. If I haven't responded, let me take this time to apologize. I do appreciate every note I get.

Now scram, and don't leave any rotten apples on my desk!

Classed dismissed!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting. Have a great wrestling story or question? Just send an e-mail to the man right here.)