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Professor Wrestling: 'Great American Bash' Results

Cena, Lashley Hook Up For WWE Title

POSTED: 5:43 pm HST July 19, 2007
UPDATED: 4:49 pm HST July 22, 2007

Listen up!

Class is in session.

"The Great American Bash," is history for 2007, and John Cena still stands tall as he retained his WWE championship in a match against Bobby Lashely. So what else happened? Thought you'd never ask:

Podcast: Episode 38

WWE Women's Championship: Candice Michelle (c) vs. Melina
What Should Happen: The "Go Daddy" girl has the belt. How she won it is beyond me. But I guess it doesn't matter these days who's on top in the women's game, as long as all of the silicone is in the right place. Not that I'm watching for that. Uh, what should happen? Let Candice bounce to another victory.

What Will Happen: Candice will keep her title with an impressive victory over bad girl Melina.

What Did Happen: Candice got it done, beating Melina.

ECW Title Match: John Morrison (c) vs. C.M. Punk
What Should Happen: Well, both of these guys can certainly wrestle -- but I'd be a liar to say that I actually care what happens here. The whole ECW thing does nothing for me. It's a second-tier title, if you ask me -- just like the U.S. title belt or the I.C. belt. What should happen? There's no need for a change right now.

What Will Happen: Morrison (the former Johnny Nitro) will retain his title.

What Did Happen: The ex-Nitro is still the ECW champ, as he pinned Punk.

Intercontinental Championship: Umaga (c) vs. Jeff Hardy
What Should Happen: It's Davey versus Goliath, and Davey has no shot. Nor should he. What's the point of pushing Umaga to monsterhood if he's just going to lose to a Hardy boy? Not going to happen.

What Will Happen: Umaga squashes for the win.

What Did Happen: Umaga gave Hardy a shot to the throat, and then got the pin.

U.S. Championship: MVP (c) vs. Matt Hardy
What Should Happen: This is the Hardy kid I want to win. MVP is terrible, if you ask me, and Matt is deserving of a second-tier title run. Besides, you can't have both Hardy's lose on the same PPV -- it's just not nice.

What Will Happen: Matt Hardy will dethrone MVP.

What Did Happen: Matty Hardy did not dethrone MVP. He got pinned. Can't win 'em all.

Texas Bull Rope Match: Randy Orton vs. Dusty Rhodes
What Should Happen: There's a fighting chance this match might steal the show. Rhodes can do that, even at his age. It would be fun to see Rhodes foil the Legend Killer somehow, but that wouldn't be smart long-term booking.

What Will Happen: Orton will take it.

What Did Happen: Orton took the match after he hit Dusty in the noggin with the cowbell attached to the rope.

World Heavyweight Championship: The Great Khali (c) vs. Batista vs. Kane
What Should Happen: (Warning: "Smackdown!" Spoiler Alert!) Edge was injured (pectoral muscle -- he'll reportedly be out four months) and had to give up his title. On the Tuesday "Smackdown!" taping, Khali won the belt in a battle royal. Khali later interfered in a No. 1 contender's match between Kane and Batista, setting up the triple threat title tilt. What should happen? For the love of God, get the belt off of Khali. He's terrible in the ring! Of the three, I'd say Batista is most deserving, but it might be fun to see Kane run with it for a while.

What Will Happen: I think Khali will somehow edge out Kane and Batista, to retain his new belt. Even with Khali in the mix, this match might be highly entertaining.

What Did Happen: Khali pinned Kane to keep his championship belt.

WWE Title Match: John Cena (c) vs. Bobby Lashley
What Should Happen: Two guys who can't wrestle in the WWE title match. I guess this one has been coming for a while with Lashley's push, but I'm not that pumped up for it. All that said, watch it bring down the house. The crowds seem to like Cena for some reason. For the record, Cena should retain. It wouldn't bother me if Lashley turned heel, either.

What Will Happen: Cena will get a clean pin over Lashley to retain his belt.

What Did Happen: Cena hit Lashley with an FU off the top rope to keep his title.

That's it. Your "Great American Bash" for this summer. As usual, my picks were practically perfect in the major contests, as I missed only one match. Man, I'm good. And humble, too.

One other note: don't forget to download EPISODE 38 of "Old School, New School," the Professor Wrestling podcast. This week, my co-hosts Dr. Mike Lano and George Schire tackle plenty of topics, including the Rhino/alcoholism angle, what "taking a bump" means and what a "shooter" is. It's another 40 minutes of audio gold, so don't you dare miss it!

That's it!

Class is dismissed!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting, hailing from Parts Unknown. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )


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