Little boxes on the Internet, little boxes made out of ticky-tacky. Little boxes on the Internet, little boxes all the same.

Oh, I'm sorry, just humming a little song that's trapped in our craniums. You see, while the original version of this tune was about suburbia and all the wondrous conformity that it breeds, the '60s folk jam could just as easily be applied to the Web and the little "boxes" that we're required to fill in each day to describe our personalities.

Yup, every time we join a new social network, we're given a clean slate: a bright little area in which we can prove just how employable, dateable and unhateable we really are.

Unfortunately, some of us persist in filling those little boxes with ticky-tacky, and we all end up looking the same -- as in uniformly horrible. Granted, some of us are genuinely horrible, so perhaps those profiles should be left untouched for the sake of humanity at large.

But we're going to go right ahead and believe in the "good of man" or some such garbage and assume that you're all completely unaware of just how tool-ish you look.

In the past, we've tackled profile pitfalls and messaging mishaps on sites such as OKCupid -- charitably ridiculing the Average Joe and Josephine's baffling blunders -- so today we're going to tackle Twitter profiles (and cease and desist with the alliteration, because we're starting to annoy ourselves).

Here are five instances in which your little boxes look (ticky) tacky.

1. When you brag

"Bomb-ass social media ninja. Killer gams. Heart of gold. Tweeting the best sh*t, repping my ceramic kitten collection hardcore."

Unless written ironically (and please note, people on the Web often cannot recognize irony, humor or the difference between "your" and "you're"), such unsubtle crowing, in short, makes people hate you.